Comfortable and cozy wide awake laying in bed staring at the popcorn on the roof.
Who would be up at this time I ponder to myself. I know Chris is.
Hello? Groans Chris.
Yo what up?
Bart is that you?
Tis I. You want to get some breakfast?
Why are you up at this time?
I just woke up and I’m hungry. Why are you up?
I haven’t slept since I got off my shift. Sure come swoop me up.
I got dressed in a matter of 100 seconds. Out the door I felt as if I was the only person up in the world. Could it be? Well if it wasn’t for time zones and the contact I had with Chris I would have to agree. The roads were empty and desolate. Like a black and white science fiction television show. This was that in between time of day during the week that everybody was already off the road from partying and in bed or before their alarms went off and people were going to work. The most bizarre time of the week to say the least. I drove towards the beach where Chris lived and the closer I got the more mystified the early morning became. It was quite surreal and I took deep breaths as I drove to really intake what was going on. I thought to myself this is my life at this moment and I am here. What a trip.
I rolled up and Chris was out front his apartment dressed like we were going on a cruise around the world without luggage at least. Where do you want to grub? He asks very stoked.
The Harbor house is open 24/7 and has the best breakfast around.
Let’s do this. On our way through the Teen number streets of Hunters beach we saw a large group of youngsters surrounding this one guy. It looked like they were drunk and were out front of a house party they were having. It was at least 6 or 7 dudes jumping this one middle aged man who almost looked done with but they were not stopping.
Chris we have to help this guy.
You know every time we have tried to help anybody it has backfired.
Are you talking about that one time you tried to help that girl who was arguing with a boy and she swiftly kicked you in the nuts with steel toe boots?
You can’t let one experience dictate the rest of your life. Do not live in fear my friend.
They look like they are all into MMA anyway.
I’ve never been one to turn down a challenge.
As we drove up these guys didn’t even stop or look our direction. They just kept treating this poor guy like a professional wrestling match. One guy body slammed him the other did a drop leg. It was brutal. We parked a few houses before theirs.
I just want some breakfast Bart.
We got out the car, walked up as if spectators of this wondrous battle but one guy turned around with huge dilated eyeballs and his jugular vein pounding at 200 pumps a minute.
What? He growled angrily. He pointed at us and said, “Get them!” The other guys just stopped mid punch and dropped the victim’s body and you could hear his skull smack the pavement. Now normally I would just throw down with these guys even though we were out numbered but they looked like they were going to kill us. Chris booked it and I followed. I pressed the unlock button on my car keys and we flew into the vehicle and out the corner of my eye I could see the man who was fighting get up and take off. One of these Barbarians was right in front of our car with a ¼ dranken 40 ounce bottle of beer and not going anywhere. The yellow hue of the streets lights made a creepy dude look even creepier. He pulled his arm back like a Quarterback so I slammed the gas. He hucked the 40 at my windshield the bottom corner of the bottle crashed right above my wipers and my whole front windshield was covered with malt liquor. I had zero visibility but I knew this douchebag was only 3 yards or so in front of us and didn’t care. I drove my bumper into his kneecaps and his torso bent in half and slammed an imprint of his face into my car hood.
Chris was breathing heavily and screaming in an almost teary eyed scared for his life tone. “I told you it ALWAYS backfires.“
Don’t panic, I’m going to make this turn right here.
I had my head hanging out the window and I could see this mob of people yelling behind us. I came up to the stop sign on the street behind where we were and I saw the guy who was getting beat up talking to a Cop who had pulled over to the side of the road. The Cop was asking him some questions as the victim pointed to his far right through the mist came the mob running after him. The cop threw his squad car in park and jumped out with his gun drawn and told them all to “FREEZE!”
The bloodied victim was in shock. Chris rolled down his window and waved his hand toward the car, “Hey come with us.” The victim looked at the cop not paying any attention to him and sprinted to the stop sign and got in the back seat. We made a right at the stop sign and could see 6 guys on their knees with their hands behind their heads lined up on a grassy knoll in front of some condos as the cop had his gun pointed at all of them.
Are you OK?
Yeah my nose is bleeding and I probably have a black eye but I’m fine.
What was going on over there?
Long story and I can’t really tell you because I really have no clue who you are.
That sounds really bad. Well my name is Bart and this is Chris. We were on our way to get some breakfast and saw you getting beat up and wanted to help. What’s your name?
We continued to head North towards the cafe we were going to have breakfast at in the first place.
Dr. Awezeem are you hungry?
Some Coffee and a sink to wash up would be fine.
We arrived at Harbor Haus Caffe and inspected my vehicle. The windshield was still crispy with dried beer and there definitely was a crack the length and curvature of a beer bottle bottom in my windshield. The hood of my car had a face print in it and you could see the eyes, nose and the mouth making an OH face. We all walked into the cafe and Dr. Awezeem went directly to the restroom to wash up.
Table for 3 please.
Would you like a booth or the counter seating?
A booth would be nice, Thanks,
Our special this morning is Cinnamon French Toast.
That sounds delicious.
3 Cups of Coffee and a glass of water for myself please.
Chris what are you thinking?
Bart I think you are nuts. We should have never stopped to help and we should not have picked up this Doctor Awesome character.
It is pretty cool that he is Dr. Awesome.
Bart get your head in this. I just wanted breakfast nothing more. This has turned into a debacle. What are we gonna do now?
Dr. Awezeem was walking back to the booth.
We ordered you some coffee.
You sure clean up well. Not even a scratch.
With a tone of sarcasm Dr. Awezeem states, “They were puny nerds.” (Gnarly twang on Nurds).
LOL. Well the crowd of Mixed Martial Artist doppelgangers that cracked my windshield looked like ripped meat head body builders.
The Doctor begins to confide.
You two seem somewhat harmless and I do thank you for the help you provided out of the kindest of your hearts but besides what it looked like these individuals were not what they seemed.
What do you mean Dr?
I’ve been working on this for a decade and these weaklings, who by the way could have done me no harm whatsoever and that is why I didn’t have a scratch or any pain from the wrestling moves you saw. I landed on my nose when they dropped me to chase you and effectively gave me a mild nosebleed.
The waitress takes our order, I would like the 2 egg breakfast with sourdough.
Bacon or Sausage?
No meat. Chris says he would like the French Toast Special and the Doctor says he would like the same.
The Doctor says, in the laboratory in the back of my RV I created an acute regulatory protein.
Wait you cook meth in a RV?
No not at all. I created a protein that hybrids with a steroid skeleton and overrides the nuclei while adding an organic compound of a carbon diamond like atom.
Chris blurts out, “English please.”
Those gentlemen were not the giant muscled men you think you saw. They were volunteer lab experiments with Holographic muscles.
Holographic muscles? I can’t even fathom that.
You are not suppose to. Why do you think I was using a mobile Lab?
Only time I’ve ever heard of mobile labs is to cook illegal narcotics.
Poised to make us believe him the Doctor looked very serious, so serious that I couldn’t even call him a fraud.
Chris was like, “Well tell me more.”
Basically the volunteers were mere weaklings. Geeks who couldn’t get any girls and sat around all day eating Pizza and Pepsi for breakfast. They were very fond of their peers who were getting laid and partying with the “cool” crowd. So they wanted a change. I injected them a molecular cloak that gave them visually ripped muscles without having to exercise or change their diet. Immediately upon dosing the volunteers I heard them scream that they could feel their scrotum and penis shrinking. One looked in his pants and gasped in fear and what he saw. They in turn became overtly violent. This was all in a matter of moments then the hallucinations. One specimen said he saw a beautiful baby blue and light pink carousel carnival on the drywall of the living room wall of his Townhome. The merry go round spinning counter clockwise. His jaw dropped to the floor in awe and he was just staring at the wall drooling and dazed. The other complained of a giant headache. Now this was unlike any of the the tests I have done previously on small mammals actually they showed no side effects only the holographic muscle mass. I am aware that the “BUFF LOOK” is only that a look. They have no muscle density increase and it is just a hologram cloak that gives the visual impression that these people are huge.
I don’t know if I can believe this guy. Way too far fetched for me but Chris is a Health nut and is all about weightlifting and is intrigued.
Well what went wrong Dr? Chris asks.
I am not absolutely sure but my hypothesis is that the jagged edges of diamonds in the carbon atom affected their cardiovascular and neurological communications in their minds. A roadblock so to say. The net effect is that all the hard work to get a body to look like that all in a few moments, the recovery and cell regeneration caused human emotion of madness and rage, so that the body can adjust intermittently. That would explain the hallucinations and violence.
You didn’t see any of this in the test animals?
No. The test subjects were a perfect steroid cloak.
How did you find these volunteers?
I went to college with one, Julians Mother. We were good friends, she contacted me because her son was an introvert and depressed. He ate crap and never left the house. Once Julian turned of age he wrote me a letter pleading for help. I explained he should change his diet and exercise, begin to meditate and tune into his spirituality. Both of his parents were small and frail so he believed his inability to get muscle mass was genetic. He stated that this affected him socially and was driving him to insanity. He also planned on becoming a Doctor and had no free time to adjust his life with Med School.
Thats only one person we saw 7 out there.
Well there were 6 volunteers all were friends. At the time of Julian’s letter I had been developing and testing this hologram cloak for over a decade. All my test subjects passed flawlessly with zero side effects. I sent Julian a video and he instantly wanted to be apart of it. Julian was bashful to do this alone. He was a avid gamer and wanted to volunteer with the 5 other members of his gamer clan. Initially I was telling him no way. He was really persistent. It was a all or nothing sort of thing and I felt I truly would be helping them all out. So eventually I invited them all to my lab for a interview. They seemed to be the perfect patients. All were extremely intelligent, lacked a social life, and were small frail skeletons. Definitely brains but zilch for braun. Their size and demeanor affected how they lived. So I agreed to go forth. The Boys all lived in a Townhome a few blocks from the ocean in Hunters Beach and we decided to meet and do it there since my RV is only a few feet larger than a Westfalia. It would’ve been impossible to do it in my lab.
I was like “Are you kidding us? This is ridiculous. You must think we are the most naive guys ever. Or you did something horrible and you are trying to paint yourself as a hero. You’re setting us up for a prank or something right?”
Chris is so gullible “Calm down Bart! Please continue Dr. Awesome.”
It’s Dr. Awezeem. It took me a lot longer to get the lab set up in their home. I ran out of flasks and broke a couple of beakers in the process. So I used tupperware and that began to melt. I had never made so much at one time for so many subjects to consume. A 3 hour process turned into 8. These guys were tearing up the townhome and I had all my equipment set up so I opened the front door. It really irritated them and they went into wrestling mode as I tried to evacuate the area. Then you guys showed up.
I asked, “How long do the effects last.”
Wait, so these guys all have their cloaks of muscles on still?
Well because of the testing I had done there were zero side effects so it is permanent.
What do you think happened to them? Said Chris.
To tell you the truth I doubt their roid rage has stopped and I am worried about the Police that had them on the curb.
What do you mean?
Well either they were unable to control their emotions and were apprehended or the hiccup effect.
The hiccup effect?
The cops presence scared the rage out of them like when you have the hiccups if you get frightened they stop.
Chris asks, “Can you fine tune this cloak to work for me without side effects?”
I suppose but I will need to run some tests on at least one of the subjects to be able to see what went wrong. I have to get my lab back.
We jammed down south to go get the lab and Dr. Awezeems RV. We made it with only about 25 mins till the sunrises. The front door of the townhome was wide open. Julian and his friends were not there. We helped the Dr. gather all his equipment and pack it into his RV before anyone noticed. As we were finishing up with the last box of flasks I heard a roaring snore. It was that guy who threw the 40 at my windshield in the gutter sleeping like a baby. Still buff as the Terminator. I got the Doctors attention. The neighbors were already leaving for work and the sun was barely cracking through the horizon. He signaled Chris and I to help him. The Dr. grabbed some duct tape and a sleeping bag. We wrapped up the guy and taped him in the sleeping bag like a contraband ready for smuggling. He was light as a feather. So the Dr lifted him up, threw him over his shoulder and scurried him into his RV with nobody noticing. The snores began to get louder.
You boys follow me.
Chris was already yawning from working the night before and no sleep. He seemed way too enticed to be getting muscles with no work.
Chris you look tired do you want me to take you home?
No I want to get Awesome.
We followed the Dr. out to the desert behind this huge granite rock that casted a shadow so large it looked like it was night in the shade. The RV parked and you could hear the Dr fumbling around. Chris and I entered the RV.
The Doctor said, “he woke up while we were driving. I pumped the brakes and he banged his head against the edge of the table and went back to sleep.”
Are you serious, Chris said. I nodded in approval.
Grab those shears and Chris pass me that scalpel, I need some help.
The Doctor had the sleeping bag sprawled out on what looked like the kitchen table folded down and began cutting the duct tape that sealed the sleeping bag. There was no more snoring and very light somewhat controlled breathing. The subject eyes were closed, docile, his face a little bruised but not moving. The RV was very small and all four of us barely fit. There was no room to move. The beakers, burners, lamps and flasks were taking up a ton of room because the lack of organization and space. The Dr. was examining the subjects vitals. He checked his temperature, had a auriscope examining his eardrum and was listening to his heartbeat. The Doctor placed his hand back and asked for the syringe. I grabbed one near my foot. Without looking, the Doctor nearly shot another dose of the ultraviolet colored holographic cloak serum into the patient.
No. Sorry this is some leftover from earlier and placed the needle on the table.
Chris was looking at it drooling. He knows that this is not what the Doctor planned on giving him but Chris has a huge ego and no patience. I waved my palm in front of his eyes to break his glazed glare.
Please pass me that empty syringe Chris.
Chris grabbed a large needle from a milk crate and passed it to the Doctor. The Doctor glanced at it and began drawing blood from the subject. The vile of blood looked much larger than I’ve seen previously whenever I’ve given blood and the color of the blood that was being drawn was a really dark redish purple color. Something didn’t seem right. As soon as I was about to ask a question. The patients eyes open wide. His pupils dilated and a savage scowl creased the lines of his face. The Doctor was surprised and Chris flinched. The Doctor Turned around and the syringe in his hand sprayed blood out all over the interior of the RV. I opened the RV side door. Chris fell over trying to block his eyes from getting blood in them. The Doctor reached for a medium sized scalpel from the tool bag.
I will cut you kid calm down.
The patient lunged forward toward the doctor. Chris made a sound like a schoolgirl. I put one foot outside the vehicle. The patient tried to clothes line the Doctor and the Doctor swung the scalpel and sliced the right peck of the patient. The patient turned around and grabbed the syringe from the side corner of the table and stabbed the Doctor directly in the heart with the needle and thrust every last drop of the ultraviolet dose into his system. I stepped out of the RV about to make a run for my car when I saw the Doctor mutate. His muscles began to appear gigantic. His facial expression went from shock to maddening. The Doctor started yelling, “Don’t take my baby! Why are you trying to take my baby from me?” Chris and I looked at each other like what is going on. Chris was able to maneuver out of the RV. The Doctor hurdled over the patient and jumped into the drivers seat and started up the motor. He threw it in Drive and sped off. From the side door all his equipment started falling out, breaking and shattering on the desert floor. I hopped in my car with Chris ready to take off. The RV went around the back side of the granite rock we parked behind.
Chris let’s go home. As I pulled out to the main trail the RV was racing behind us. I could hear the Doctor shouting out the Window “I was in Desert Storm! Infidels will be beheaded.” He caught up as he slammed into our rear bumper. Both of our necks whiplashed. Scarred for my life the Doctor began to run us off the road. I couldn’t control my little car with the force of the RV slamming in my rear. The car jerked to the left as we were thrusted off a cliff, we were airborne. The world began to slow down. I saw a bird right next to us flapping at the same speed we were gliding and the clouds were opening up in embracement to let us fly through.
I then opened my eyes. My clock was flashing 3:16 AM and I had no clue who I was or what I had done. My car hood that morning still had a face plant in it and on the AM radio news station I heard of a Police mauling outside Hunters Beach by some distraught Mr. Universe contestants.